Astral Codex Ten

King Charles

4 min read

King Charles

Article

King Charles is a recurring person in the Astral Codex Ten archive, appearing 2 times across 2 issues between January 16, 2024 and August 01, 2025. The archive places it in contexts such as “If you learn that King Charles is secretly a lizardman alien”; “King Charles rode around accepting the fealty of various towns”; “she’d previously sworn to keep King Charles’s secrets”. It most often appears alongside MeToo, 9-11, Africa.

Metadata

  • Category: People
  • Mention count: 2
  • Issue count: 2
  • First seen: January 16, 2024
  • Last seen: August 01, 2025

Appears In

Source Context

Recovered passages from the original issue text. When the raw archive preserved outbound links inside the source passage, they are listed directly under the quote.

Against Learning From Dramatic Events
January 16, 2024 · Original source
Obviously there are some events you thought were so unlikely that you need a big update if they happen even once. If you learn that King Charles is secretly a lizardman alien, you should definitely update your probability that Joe Biden is one too.
Your Review: Joan of Arc
August 01, 2025 · Original source
Because, according to ancient tradition, kings of France must be crowned in Rheims. This sacred ritual is what establishes that the King is the King, chosen by God. As the Dauphin, Charles is head of the Armagnac party; as King Charles VII, he would be King of France, especially since his rival Henry VI is a small child and furthermore a small child in England who therefore hasn't been properly crowned yet. Joan has faith they can overcome the material obstacles and that pulling this off will give them huge spiritual gains, and if you replace "spiritual gains" with "gains in morale," she is clearly right. The French army marches off with the King, ready to gamble everything on this one stroke.
And the French rushed on the English vanguard with incredible speed, which was not quite finished joining the rest of the English army. Shocked to see the French, who they though were waiting for them, already rushing out of the woods, the vanguard routed instantaneously. The French pursued them into the second force, which, seeing the first disintegrate, routed itself, and meanwhile the commander of the rearguard, Sir John Falstaff, implemented a tactical withdrawal in good order, thereby extricating his force and wrecking his military career, ending up as the scapegoat for the entire doomed campaign and a comic relief character for Shakespeare. The casualty figures are staggering; the English lost "two to four thousand men" killed or captured, the majority of their force, while the French army had three deaths. This, to be clear, is about the number of men you expect to accidentally trip over their own stirrups dismounting and break their necks. The French swept onwards to Rheims, every town they reached surrendering within the day, and the Dauphin Charles was crowned King Charles VII of France before crowds cheering or weeping at the extraordinary victory, with Joan having the place of honor beside him. Crowds flocked to the king and the mood in the country was ecstatic.
No, really. If at any point I have given you a positive impression of the competence of the French court, I do revoke it! King Charles rode around accepting the fealty of various towns while Joan constantly urged him to march swiftly on Paris and finish the war. Joan's councils failing, she begged him for the chance to retire; she had successfully accomplished all of her prophesied tasks, the Duke of Orleans had been ransomed, Orleans had been relieved, the King crowned. Could she go home now? Her voices didn't have any more tasks for her, "take Paris instead of dithering" was just common sense.